A male who is in his 50's or 60's and planning on retiring here to Chiang Mai and wants a Thai lady to share his life wife has limited options as to finding her.

Although there could be Thai ladies working in bars who could be wonderful girlfriends and wives we recommend other ways in which to find longterm female companionship.

A lovely Thai lady who is in her late teens in early twenties has no interest in settling down with an old farang other than monetary interest. She is likely to have a Thai boyfriend and have interests that relate to her age such as music, dancing, and other.

So if you want a very young Thai g/f or wife be prepared to spend thousands or tens of thousands of dollars on bar tabs and bar fines.

If you want an attractive Thai g/f or wife that you will be happy with and who will save you thousands or tens of thousands of dollars then look for a Thai lady who is in her late 20's or older.

What I have noticed is that more than half of the Thai ladies I meet have one or more children. In fact I would say about 75% have one or more children. That should not dissuade you from becoming involved with them as they are likely to be the most sincere and make the best g/f and wives. Why? Because they need your financial support to raise the child.

At this point we have suggested finding a Thai lady as a g/f or wife as they will make you happy and save you money. That you should look for a Thai lady who is in here late 20's or older and one that has one or more children.

This is our starting point. We know what we should be looking for now. But where are we most likely to find the Thai lady?


You can go to malls, grocery stores, restaurants and talk to Thai ladies and try to meet them that way but we believe that is difficult to do.

You do not know if the Thai lady has a boyfriend, and many Thai ladies will not be interested so you will be rejected often and regularly.

In Canada a male may look to see if the lady is wearing a ring as a sign that the lady is married, engaged or available. In Thailand rings are not that common and one has distinguish whether the lady is interested by talking to them or by the ladies reactions.

But there are ladies out there working in these areas that do want to meet foreign men. Now there are two correspondence/introduction agencies in Chiang Mai and both are up for sale which indicates that either they do not make money, they do not provide a good service or their isn't the demand for their service.

From our opinion men prefer to find the ladies themselves as it seems to be more exciting. They do not realize that they will spend many times more for bar fines and bar tabs and that the bar girls are not the best Thai g/f or wives that they can find.

Based on what I know now I would suggest the following for men coming here looking to find a Thai lady as either a girlfriend or wife:


The "key" to a long lasting relationship with a Thai lady is providing the Financial Support she requires.

That means paying for accommodations, and other living costs as well as helping her family when required. Try to understand that the Thai lady is probably helping her family out financially with income that she earns. If her parents are ill she has to provide for transportation costs, and medical costs from medicine to surgery. Fortunately these costs are not excessive as they are in North America and even a few thousand baht can go a long ways in covering the medical needs of one's immediate family.

When you meet a Thai lady she will try to find out if you have "a good heart" and that is a common term used here. I think it means that you are a good person and that you will help out if required financially. She will try to determine if you are such a person as that is what she needs from you. In return she will provide you with everything that you require from loving, nursing, cooking, cleaning etc.

At this time you know what you should be looking for in terms of a Thai lady and what she is looking for from you. Your looks or age are not as important as you ability and willingness to be a provider for her and her family.

Is she using you? In our opinion YES

Are you using her? YES

You are both using each other to provide for the needs you require and that is exactly how it works in any marriage.

But it is a relationship that is kept together by your being a good person and her upholding her end of the unwritten bargain. And it works.

We would highly recommend that eligible men meet Thai ladies as soon as they arrive in Chiang Mai because a Thai girlfriend will help you reduce your living costs, and also enable you to do more in terms of seeing the popular tourist attractions inside of and outside of Chiang Mai.

The key to a retiring male's happiness here is a good partner. If the male is a heterosexual, eligible male then the sooner he finds the right Thai lady the better.

And as we stated earlier, the key to finding a Thai lady here is "having a good heart".

The best methods and places for finding a Thai g/f or wife are:

Large Shopping Mall

Find a Thai lady that appeals to you and is not busy in a section of the store that is for men. Many Thai ladies speak some English and especially if they work in the Malls.

Large Massage Parlor

This is one of the best places to find a Thai lady who will make a great g/f or wife. They work long hours and get paid a small fraction of what is charged for a massage. Many of the girls working here have taken a massage course and know what they are doing when they give a Thai traditional or Thai oil massage.

For you and me the price of a oil massage for 2 hr. in one of these establishments will likely be around 500 baht and the price for a Thai would be about 200 baht for a Thai traditional massage and 300 baht for a oil massage. The girls only earn about 100 baht per 2 hr. massage and as they get older they are selected less frequently. They realize that customers prefer the younger girls and when a farang comes along who is nice they are more than happy to join him for dinner and to get to know him better.

Government Office

Now this could be a bank, post office or other Government office and you are more likely to find a Thai lady who speaks English well here. The problem you will encounter is having the time or opportunity to get to know her and make your pass at her.

These ladies earn a better income and if they are very attractive the chances are that they have a boyfriend or husband.

If you meet a Thai lady in a Government office you is willing to join you for dinner then chances are that she is single or separated and has a child. And you should accept that.


Someone wrote that if you find a lady you like that you give her a 20 baht note worth about 70 cents US with you telephone number on it and ask her to phone you. Apparently the number of ladies that responded to that method was about 70%. Would this work in Chiang Mai? Yes, I think it would.

As we mentioned earlier in our Finding a Girlfriend/Wife page - we help our clients find Thai ladies that they can share their lives with while they are here in retirement. We have met some very nice Thai ladies who may be interested in meeting foreigners who are about to retire here in Chiang Mai.

There is a fee for our service but believe me that these ladies are nicer then what you will find in the bars and it won't cost you an arm and leg in bar fines and bar tabs.